There are some good friends out there who are willing to listen to some venting. It’s natural. But what about when talking about someone’s day turns into more than just complaints, but into silent cries for pity. What about when they go too far, and say drastic things and say that they're "depressed"? What then? Do you treat them like patients, or what?

A lot of people don’t grow up with the easiest life, but who said that life was easy, right? Life isn't easy, and sometimes, crap happens. You can't change that. Sometimes I was sad, sometimes I was mad, and had quite the mood swings, but I didn't let it get the best of me. Everyone gets over emotional, and I'm sure at one point, some people are just sick and tired of being treated badly.

As I progressed in life and I got older and started junior high and eventually made it to high school, I noticed that some friends of mine didn't have it easy either. I've discussed their lives many a time, these experiences leading from sexual abuse, to serious self esteem and self hate issues which led to some very life threatening decisions, intentions of committing suicide, moving from a physical abusive household only to move to a mentally abusive household, and mothers who make bad decisions which are topped off with some pretty bad drug addictions. No one has it easy, especially this day in age where morals are quite nonexistent.

But there are others. Other friends or acquaintances of mine (and I’m sure you have them, too) who have mentioned this word a little too much. Depression. I can understand if you've had a bad day, but there are limits. Sometimes venting turns into victimizing. It's understandable to confide in order to make yourself feel better, but when you stretch the truth and you're intentions are aimed more toward gathering pity than a conversation, you've gone too far in my opinion. And most of these victimizing poor slobs (that I meet) all focus their arguments around the very serious disorder "depression".

Some people whom I've met, (who are not the victimizers I speak of ) don't even consider it an "illness". You can't CURE sadness, they say, or unhappiness. But there are doctors who diagnose it, and will give you medicine scientifically able to level the chemicals that fuel mood swings. Yes, the happiness is unnatural, but it can calm you down so you can think straight. That's what's important.

There are various types of clinical "depressions", such as: Major Depression, Atypical Depression, Psychotic Depression, Dysthymia, and Manic Depression. These are all major diagnoses that aren't meant to be taken lightly. They are all dangerous. They are all serious. They are all real. Did you know that there is an extremely high rate of suicide pertaining to those diagnosed particularly with Manic Depression? Dysthymia patients don't even know they are depressed. They are sad and dissatisfied most of their lives...but don't see anything wrong with it. They don't expect anything more, and sometimes don't feel worthy of anything better.

But those little victimizers just throw the word around. How do I infer if someone is diagnosed or just a victimizer? Do they lie about being diagnosed? No, those are called liars and posers, and are easier to deal with in my opinion. But how do you infer?

   1. This person (the victimizer) throws the word around. Ex.: "God, I just keep falling in and out of depression" or "My depression is really bringing me down." Or my personal favorite, "God, my depression just makes me do things! Give me a break!" I've heard all of these things.

   2. This person diagnoses themselves. They've never seen a certified clinical psychologist before in their life and know nothing about the diagnosis. They imply that depression IS the sickness, illness, diagnoses, etc. But there are many types of depression. "Depression" is just the general term.

   3. They over exaggerate mediocre circumstances in which you know for sure aren't that bad. And sometimes, they turn situations around to make themselves look like the victim and the accuser, or actual victim, to look like the bad guy.

Unfortunately, I have come across all these situations, and I myself find it insulting. I find it insulting because I know a lot of people who do need help, not necessarily medicine, but someone professional - like a counselor or certified clinical psychologist - to talk to. But these little “victims” parade around getting the attention they DON’T need, playing some poor souls like suckers, and driving some unforgiving souls like, myself, mad with aggravation.

When I do come into contact with a victimizer, I handle it calmly…at first. I stress politely that I am insulted and that perhaps they should not use the term so loosely so as to not insult anyone who might take it a little more seriously than I. I am sad to report that most of the time, those who I am addressing react unjustly and rudely. Possibly it is because I stopped their little pity-party. Perhaps they actually do think they’re depressed and are insulted. Or maybe, JUST MAYBE, my little accusation has given them something else to be sad about, something else to victimize about, and give them the opportunity to make me/you/the accuser out to be the bad guy. And I’m sure their sometimes outrageous reactions are intended to make me/you/the accuser feel “guilty”. “How can you be so mean? How dare you!”  

But sometimes the people you’re talking to/dealing with isn’t trying to victimize themselves, but seem to just have the wrong word usage. Instead of using the term “depressed” why not say, “I was really down last night,” or “I was so pissed off, I could have punched a wall!” Let’s turn "God, my depression just makes me do things! Give me a break!" into “I’m sorry, I’ve been really moody the past couple of days.” Try something else to express yourself. Using the word too loosely is similar to “That’s so gay!” It mightn’t mean any harm, but in very frequent cases it causes harm.

Victimizers are everywhere and they’re just a part of life, but that doesn’t make it right. Depression is not something to joke about or take lightly. I’m not saying, “STOP THE VICTIMIZING,” and let’s all start a protest. It’s one of those problems you can’t solve, like trying to get everyone to recycle. Some people just don’t give a hoot. But we can all try to at least address the problem. Next time someone’s vent turns into a pity party…point it out, and try not to insult them. This isn’t crucial like the economy, but it is annoying, and just might bring happier days to a lot of people.